I would love to better strengthen my authoritarian parenting skills. I believe that is the best parenting method but I've got such a tender heart that I give in to easily. The other day I was mad at my daughter who was dragging out the evening with her unwillingness to finish reading her story. She turned it into an ugly night and therefore didn't get to participate in the fun the others were involved in. I sent her to bed and told her that she wouldn't get her bed time story and that the evening was over. Well then I walked by her room and saw that she was an emotional mess so I went in there trying to help her feel better. By me doing so, I then relented on my own rules, which is funny, because I had told my husband what had happened and to support me on it. And then I didn't even support myself on it.
Another example of being a big softy was after school, the little boy that we take home in our carpool, knows that I will be more likely to stay at the park afterwards than his mom (who is always on a time clock). He gave me a sob story about how all of his friends were actually all there because they didn't have soccer practice so he thought he needed to stay. Well of course I say yes but only 5 minutes.
Over summer break, the kids of course are bored and getting into each others faces. Well my neighbors little girl got sent to my house for the same reason. She was bugging her brother and the cats, so her mom sent her to my house to divide and conquer. Well I let her in my house when I myself was on the couch sicker than a dog. But oh I totally understand. I might have done the same thing to them if I hadn't been sick, so I just had to let her in.
Another bad habit that I have is that EVERY time we go to the store my kids end up with something. Even when I've said, "We are not buying anything for you today." They get to the point that they expect something every time. They expect a handout. I bought something for my daughter the other day, a costume for an upcoming school activity. I was very excited about it. When she got home she could say no good about it. This made me feel bad. But it also shows that my kids have no gratitude because they are used to getting whatever they want. Ohhh!!! I've got to break some very bad habits.
My Mom growing up wasn't very consistent. She would start something and it worked well for several weeks and then fizzle. Unfortunately I think I've acquired some learned behavior in this regard. I've started many work charts and have been unsuccessful about instigating them. I have got to get out of this rut because my kids are becoming lazy. Which is odd, because my husband and I are both hard workers. I decided that I'm going to make myself a daily checklist, because I like to see things get checked off, to hopefully break some of these bad habits that I have. I'm not helping my children to be of any value in society, future families, etc. I pray for divine inspiration to help these weaknesses become strengths so that I can change how my kids think.
No comments:
Post a Comment