Good Better Best

January 22, 2015
FAML 360
Lesson 2-Intro to Family Theory

This week we learned about some research done during WWII on the family.  It was first done by Earl Lomon Koos and then later done by Rueben Hill.  Both these men wanted to know if the family could adjust well to husbands/fathers leaving to fight in the war.  And then later how the family fared after their return.  There results were interesting.  As Hill showed in his data, there was kind of a rollercoaster effect on the family.  The family struggled after their husband/father left.  They had to survive somehow until he could come home.  There was an adjustment phase that each family had to go through after his return.  Then this family had to get through the Depression.  Some families struggled through most of it, others were able to rise quickly above their challenges and were stronger. Some families might have improved some but not back to where they were before all their trials started.  Hill also designed the ABCX model of stress. 
A-The crisis-precipitating event interacting with B
B-is the families' crisis-meeting resources interacting with C
C- is the definition the family makes of the events that produces X
X-is the crisis.
This model is very helpful in helping us understand what exactly is going on when our family is under stress.  Remembering this model might help us to see more clearly during the trial, and also to have a positive outlook.

We also had to read an article this week about a family that had some struggles.  The couple both quit their jobs to start a family business.  This was stressful.  They were also in the process of designing their dream entertainment room.  They go out of town, leaving their oldest daughter at a friend's house.  The daughter goes home to get something and smells something funny.  She called her parents who then called the fire department.  They came home from their trip to find that their whole 3 story had house had burned.  They had to move into less than ideal housing at a friend's house while they did repairs on their house.  Through this experience they had to grow together as a family.  They decided to make some modifications to their house to make it more family friendly instead of what they had before.  This reminded me of a talk given by Elder Dallin H. Oaks a few years ago titled Good, Better, Best.  Here is clip from that talk Good, Better, Best.  This is a good reminder that we need to keep our priorities straight.  This couple was so busy designing their ideal entertainment room that they didn't take into consideration things that might be better for their family.  I hope that I can choose to have better and best choices made for my family.