Mindfulness

This was a good week with some good reading material.  Something that is always nice to be reminded about.  I would first like to recount an experience that I had last week as the doctor's office.  I as in the lobby just people watching waiting for my turn.  I saw this cute little family that had one little son about 2 and she was expecting their second.  This family was so in tune with their little boy.  The world revolved around him. They both got so excited in all the little things he was doing just waiting in the lobby.  Watching them almost made me envious.  I was wondering, "Why can't I be more of parent like that?"  Pretty sad that you have to ask yourself that question.  It just seems that life is so busy all the time that you forget to enjoy the moments, just enjoy being who you are, just relishing every time that you have with your children.  I know that sometimes with my kids I'm only half listening to them, or my mind is thinking of the next thing that needs to be done.  My goal is to be a more attentive mother to my children and more attentive to my husband.  Other things in my life can wait.
Also the other day my son and I were driving to the bank and for some reason I decided to ride with windows down, which I never do.  This was interesting.  It was a beautiful cool, breezy day.  The wind felt good rushing through my hair.  Along our path we would catch the smell of fast food places starting their day.  I don't know if that is a good thing or not, because the smell wasn't all that pleasant.  It was like a stale grease smell.  We got to the bank, with our windows still open, and my little son was more intrigued with the machine that takes the container if the drive-thru up to the clerks.  We could hear the sound that it made as it made its assent.  After we were done, he loved receiving his sticker and was playing with it in the back.  We started our journey back home.  This time I started waving my hand out the window and letting the wind carry it where it wanted to go.  I haven't done this for years.  It made me feel like a little kid again.  Well because my son saw me do this, he wanted to try.  His little arms barely even made it to the window but we did it together for a while.  It was a pleasant ride home.  It felt good to have the cool wind blowing.  It was almost a feeling of rejuvenation.  I hope that this created some good imagery for you because it was sure a fun ride to the bank.  Maybe more often we should do things that we don't normally do, or things that we haven't done for a while.  Take time to smell the roses, or play in the rain.  ENJOY THE MOMENTS!!
So both of these experiences were very interesting to have this week.  After I got home from the bank I started my reading for the week and it was on mindfulness.  It talked about not getting road rage, but enjoying the fact that you are in a car, and you get to enjoy the scenery, and this is time that you wouldn't normally have to just think, etc.  A quote in our reading this week says, "Take one day at at time.  Mindfulness goes further, inviting you to take one moment at a time.  Since we really only live in the present moment, why not be there for each moment?"  (Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.)

This week's reading made me think about the Karate Kid.  Daniel was getting picked on and bullied a little at school and wants to get even with these boys.  He meets his neighbor Mr. Miyagi.  He is trained in martial arts and starts training Daniel.  I can't remember which movie it is but Daniel starts to think the Mr. Miyagi's ways aren't working or to slow to learn.  So he secretly starts training with another trainer who was all about fighting and fighting it out brutally.  Daniel goes to his next fight and he losing big time and really getting beat up by the other guy.  Mr. Miyagi is super sad to to see this change in Daniel whom he has invested a lot of time.  Daniel soon realizes that this other way is not the way. He comes back humbled to Mr. Miyagi.  Mr. Miyagi reminds me  to come back to center, be at peace with himself, reminds him to be calm and not in an angry fighting mode.  This of course helps Daniel and he is back on track for his winning streak.  This is also a good reminder for us.  
Our brains when we are in a stressed out mode take on one of three characteristics fight, flee, or freeze. This reminds me of a story years ago at my grandparent's house.  My Dad and a few of my siblings decided to walk through the cow pasture to other side.  I don't remember what the purpose was.  My aunt had brought her little dog with her and we were going to take it with us for this little walk.  My siblings were all fighting over who was going to hold the leash.  My Dad soon got fed up and just gave me the leash and told me to take the dog.  We got half-way through the field when a baby calf got excited to interact with the dog.  So he started chasing the dog, well I was connected to the dog so I thought it was I the cow was chasing.  I took off at lightening speed to get away from this "playful" cow.  Earlier in the day I had cut my foot and was limping on it all day.  Well I sure wasn't limping on it then.  I was running so fast.  I didn't look back, my only sites was on safety outside the pasture fence.  I guess the cow had stopped a long time ago in his chase but my brain was still on the flight mode.  My Mom wondered how I was even going to get through the bars of the fence because it didn't look like I was going to be slowing down.  It was nice to be back in the safe zone, but was sure scary at the time.  
We should take time out in our day to meditate and do some deep breathing.  Our lesson this week talked about how healing this can be.  
A few years ago Sherri Dew came to talk to our stake.  She was very close with President Hinckley and wrote his biography.  She said that his two biggest fears were to have his wife die before him, and having cancer.  Well his wife died before him.  And I didn't know this but he also died of cancer.  He had some treatment that prolonged his life by 2 years, but still had to go through his 2 worst fears.  Even a prophet of God isn't immune to earthly trials and stress. We just need to learn to work through it and find peace in our life.  
Another quote from our reading this week says, "As much as we may wish to ignore these concerns or pretend they don't exist, the unfortunate truth is that we can't control the world around us, and there will always be situations capable of provoking worry, stress, and anxiety.  The answer isn't to turn away; it's to turn toward, like turning into the skid." 
(Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.)  This reminded me of Cars. Lightening McQueen is kind of punky "kid" that doesn't want to listen to Doc who was a big time racer in his day.  Doc is trying to teach him to drive on a dirt track.  His advice to Lightening McQueen is if you want to go right, turn left.  At first Lightening thinks that this is crazy.  But when he learns how to do this he sure saves himself some run ins with the sagebrush.

"When feelings of stress, anxiety or panic arise, it can be like wearing glasses that tend to distort reality and make it more worrisome.  This keeps the anxious tape loops spinning in your head, exacerbating fears and possibly leading to panic."    (Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.)  Here is an acronym to help reduce some stress and anxiety in our life.
S=Stop
T=Take a breath
O=Observe
P=Proceed

I hope that we can use these simple steps to reduce stress in our lives, that we can take time to enjoy the moments in our lives because we will never have this time again.