Respect is a two-way street

     As parents we demand respect from our children.  But do we respect our children the way we are expecting them to do?  This week I was really trying to make more eye contact with my daughter and get to her level.  I may have freaked her out a little.  And then just last night, she heard me arranging a day outing for the other children.  She became very offended that I wouldn't take her out of school to come.  I tried to figure out what was really bugging her.  She told me that school is so long, she has lots of work to do, she gets stuck doing unfinished work during recess and doesn't get the full time to play.  Which I don't quite agree with.  I think that the kids need to have recess.  They need to have some time to run and play.  (Here's an article saying how important it is.Keep recess in play)  Anyways, while she was bothered in the fact that she doesn't get to go, the real problems went deeper.
     This same daughter, we decided to hold back to repeat first grade.  She had struggled for the previous 2 years. (which that is crazy to me to be struggling in Kindergarten and 1st grade.)  This was a very hard decision.  Last year as she was back in 1st grade, the first week of school she was so naughty.  One night I just had about had it with her.  I kicked her to her room, without much more thought, and was truly going to be done with her for the night.  Luckily the Holy Ghost told me that I needed to go back in and just listen to her.  Well she broke down in tears, frustrated that she didn't have friends, she didn't fit in.  Thankfully, I had the thought that we needed to have a little party at our house and invite all the girls.  Once I mentioned this, she got all excited and decided to have a Teddy Bear Tea Party.  Once we did this, it jump-started some friendships and she ended up having a great year.  Her confidence has gone through the roof and that was half the battle.  I'm so glad that I took the time to listen to her, at a time that was devastating to her.
     In The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting by Laurence Steinberg (principle 10) it says to have better two-way communication with our kids we need to:
1.  Pay attention-Concentrate on what your child is saying.
2.  Actively solicit your child's viewpoint.
3.  Ask questions that call for detailed responses than one-word answers.
4.  Don't interrupt.  Don't finish your child's sentences.
5.  Be Genuine.  Don't give empty reassurances.
"One-way communication can show your child that you care about her.  But a two-way conversation shows both that you care about her and that you respect her."

     If we could write something on our child's black board what would it be?  I would want my kids to know the importance of living a righteous life, being a good example to others, being happy, serving others, working hard, education is important, saving money.  I hope that I can develop good communication skills with my kids so that they can remember these lessons.