You always have to work at your marriage

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times....

...always with the same person

I love this quote.  This hangs in my bedroom.  We have to always work at our marriage.  We can't get lazy and think that we have passed all levels of temptations.  My grandparents got divorced after 45 years of marriage.  I think my Grandpa thought his actions wouldn't affect anyone because everyone was gone from home.  On the contrary, his actions have affected not just his kids but also the grandchildren.  This was a big lesson that no matter what age we have to cultivate our marriage.  We have to grow together as a couple.  We can't just give up because that is easy.  We have to fight-fight to have a successful marriage.  The adversary would love to destroy the marriage because he knows how the family is.  He will do anything to our marriages so that we are looking at the negative in our spouse instead of finding the positive things.  

One of my favorite movies is Fireproof.  It was made by a Christian group trying to promote healthy marriages.  In this movie, a couple is about to get a divorce, but the husband's dad challenges him to a 40 day Love Dare.  Even though it's made by another church the principles still apply.  It includes things as:

• What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse's life right now?  Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part?  Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.
• Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it.  Promise them you'll seek to understand and assure them of your unconditional love.
• Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you.  The dinner can be as nice as you prefer.  Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you've rarely talked about.  Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.
• Study your spouse like you used to when you were dating.
• Do something nice for your spouse

I know that marriage is ordained of God.  He designed for a father and mother to lead their family in righteousness just like the Proclamation on the Family States.

The Family Proclamation to the World

If we are living righteously, our families will be blessed.  My mission president gave some good advice some years ago.  He said that I needed to get into the practice of saying "I love you because..." (and give different reason each time) to my husband and children.  By doing this it helps you look for the good in each other.  I testify that this really works.