(Miller, Richard B., PhD. "Who is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families." BYU Conference on Family Life. Brigham Young University. Conferences and workshops, Provo, Utah. 28 Mar. 2008. Lecture.)
It's okay to tell our children "No." I find that I often give into them. I need to learn this lesson. I need to tell them no more often. I really like that quote. It was a good reminder. In this same article by Richard B. Miller, "Who is Boss? Power Relationships in Families," he talked about how a husband and a wife make up the executive committee and the board of directors. This really made me think this week, especially because we also read a chapter from "Counseling with our Councils" by M. Russell Ballard. I have studied the idea of councils in many of my classes. I guess my mindset this week, was "Why? Why do I keep having this lesson. It must be important if it is brought up so often." This is Heavenly Father's way. By counseling together, we become more united. The idea that is that everyone comes to the decision unanimously come to the same conclusion. So now comparing that with our executive committee. A husband and a wife, partnered with the Savior, make up the "First Presidency." You can discuss matters that need to be brought up your family. Your family makes up the rest of the committee or quorum so to speak. It's important to all work together. It is important to have everyone's input. Then seek answers together. I really appreciate that my husband really wants my input on family matters and that together we work on receiving the answers needed to proceed.
This brings me to my next point. President Hinckley once said, "In the marriage companionship there is neither inferiority nor superiority. the woman does not walk ahead of the man; neither does the man walk ahead of the woman. They walk side by side as a son and daughter of God on an eternal journey." (Gordon B. Hinkcley, Ensign, May 2002, p.52)
We have to be equally yoked with our spouse. Just like these cows have to work together, so do we. If one cow tries to go faster than the other, then it is going to skew the yoke and cause more pain. It is the same for our marriage as well. Just as President Hinckley said we can walk ahead of our spouse. We walk side by side on our eternal journey together. I know that when my husband I are equally yoked, everything just flows so much better. We both have the same goals and we are both working to achieve those goals. When it is just me, or just him, we struggle and fail. It is so important to be united in our journey through life.
I was able to teach my husband and my daughter the principle of Vitamin N deficiencies. My daughter was especially intrigued when we told her that it was okay to have rules. It is actually good when you don't get everything you want. I found this great poem online.
To all you Mean Mom's.
Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you
enough to ask where you were going, with whom,
and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to make you go pay for the
bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I
stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
while you cleaned your room, a job that should have
taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you
will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the
meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids
ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal,
eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a
Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you
can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all
times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She
had to know who our friends were, and what we were
doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an
hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We
had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really
tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn
when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them. While everyone else could
date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until
we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all
her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms!
Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you
enough to ask where you were going, with whom,
and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to make you go pay for the
bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I
stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
while you cleaned your room, a job that should have
taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you
will tell them.
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the
meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids
ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal,
eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a
Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you
can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all
times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She
had to know who our friends were, and what we were
doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an
hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We
had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really
tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn
when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them. While everyone else could
date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until
we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all
her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms!
(http://www.holybible.com/resources/poems/ps.php?sid=646)
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