Our Roles as Parents

Relating to Being and Rearing Responsible Citizens
I had to read these chapters for my FAML 100 class a few years ago. I was tempted to pull my book and out and just skim through my previous notes.  But I was stuck feeding the baby and couldn't get to my book so I just decided to read them again.  I was glad that I did because then I could read it with eyes of an advocate.  So I was thankful for the chance to re-read them.

What do you think are the most important points for family advocates to know and why?
I would say the big important lesson for me this or reminder I guess, is that we can advocate and do what we can but it can't come at the expense of your own family.  Alan Hawkins says in this chapter "Zeal has a way sometimes of overtaking our better judgement."  We have to have good boundaries.  Sometimes just advocating for our family is all we can do.  My daughter just got an IEP last year and it wasn't because of the school.  It took my husband and I advocating for her.  It took us getting a second opinion and not listening to the school's advice.  And maybe at the time that is all I can do, but for now that is the most important.
Another thing that stuck out to me this week was the topic of divorce.  Brother Hawkins said that often times when we hear a couple is divorcing we say encouraging words to the effect of "congratulations on your divorce."  But we could be looking for ways to encourage them to work it out.  He says that "research shows that unhappy marriages become happy again when people hold on through the bad times."  It reminds me of the movie Fireproof.  There is one line in there that I love.  It says, "You never leave your partner, especially during the fire."  I love that quote.  A few years ago I carpooled with another family.  This family was going through some tough times.  I thought I was doing my best for this wife in trying to help her save her marriage.  But then she kind of turned the things around.  In the end they got divorced and she kind of fell of the deep end. This made me very sad because I was trying my best to help her.  I think often times people think that divorce is the answer to all their problems but in reality it just brings more problems.  And another thing that has been on my mind lately is my cousin is getting divorced.  She has 5 kids and she has some teenage daughters that are very impressionable.  It just makes me sick to think about.  These daughters might see the bad that their own mother is doing and think they need to follow in her footsteps.  Having 5 children is a big investment in a marriage and those poor kids are going to suffer.  It just makes me sad.  I wish that I was close to her like I was a few years ago that maybe we could have a good heartfelt conversation.

President David O. McKay has said that “No success can compensate for failure in the home.” What points are made in the readings that back up President McKay’s statement?
I don't know if you have ever watched The Ultimate Gift, but it is a great movie.  Well they later came out with a Prequel to the movie called The Ultimate Life.  This man grew up super poor and he felt bad about it.  He finally ran away from home to build his fortune.  It was his lifelong goal to have a billion dollars.  He was always looking for more ways to earn money.  He became very unpersonable even with his own family. He rewarded his children with big amounts of money and expensive gifts.  Of course they become spoiled brats.  He never offered them the love they sought.  As the money goes on, he keeps earning more money and taking over other's businesses to get more money.  The day he does become a billionaire, he is alone in his hotel room, without his family, on Christmas day.  This is a good illustration of failure in the home.  He had reached his life long goal, but then he was alone-totally alone. There is no reason we should value success if it is going to take from us the very things that matter most.

What  impressions, revelations, or greater understanding did you obtain through the Spirit?
Being a missionary we learned that contention never worked. In most cases if we just bore our testimonies and brought the spirit it would change the whole atmosphere.  I like in this weeks readings quoting President Hinckley he said "Let your voices be heard.  I hope they will not be shrill voices."  We can testify of our beliefs without being rude to others and when we avoid contention. 

Relating to The Role of Women and Mothers
What insights did you gain on mothers and women?
I love my mother.  She is a great example to me.  She has taught me everything.  I really look up to her and would to love to be more like her.  I know that the role of motherhood is such an important role, even though some days are really really hard.  Now that I am a mother I appreciate my own mother so much more.  We sure gave her a lot of grief.  Many times we feel like our work is an invisible work and that nobody cares.  But they do care and they do need us.  Mom's make a big impact on their children.  A mother's role is a sacred one, one that is ordained of God.  We need to do what we can to protect women.  We need to be reminded of our important role in the plan of happiness.  We are of so much worth. 

As you pondered the two competing attitudes (of Mothers Who Know and What Women Know), what did you learn about your own beliefs and understanding of the doctrine on the family?
Mothers who know was a great reminder to me to be a better teacher to my children.  It gave me much hope and made me feel good.  It made me want to become a better mom.  It brought the spirit.
The article What Women Know was horrible.  It made me angry.  I would read a little bit and then get all worked up again. I hated the story about the 2000 stripling warriors mothers.  They took that scripture, one of my favorite stories and twisted to fit their views and goals. I hated that they mentioned that they are all respectable women, mostly of the LDS faith.  If that is the case then they are sure off in left field.  They aren't living close to the spirit.  They are not seekers of truth. They like to surround themselves with information that isn't quite true and then they make it seem like it is true.  Being around women that have these views would be poisonous and they could do a lot of damage.  I know several women in my own ward that could be easily swayed by articles like this. 

What impressions, revelations, or greater understanding did you obtain through the Spirit?
My 2 favorite quotes from Mothers Who Know by Julie B. Beck are "However, mothers need not fear.  When mothers know who they are and who God is and have made covenants with Him, they will have power and influence for good on their children."  And the other quote is "Mothers who know are always teachers.  Since they are not babysitters, they are never off duty."  These were good reminders to me that I need to keep a close relationship with my Heavenly Father.  I need to be a covenant keeping woman of truth.  I need to be a better teacher with my own children and not just let them frustrate me.  I need to have more patience and seek out teaching opportunities. 

Relating to Seize the Day of Advocacy
We learned in Lesson 11 about the blessing and benefits of technology. However, too many of us are distracted into time-wasting and mind-numbing technological diversions that impede our ability to better ourselves and others. In D&C 25:10, the Lord admonishes Emma Smith—and all of us—to “lay aside the things of this world, and seek for things of a better.”
What worldly things do you need to lay aside in order for you to use your limited time to make the world better?
I would say that technology has crept into our house.  I think I have used school as an excuse but it seems that the TV is always on in my house.  I would like to reclaim my family and do fun things with them instead of touting that I've seen every show there is to see on Netflix.  I often find myself turning to technology just for something to do.  I had Candy Crush on my phone and found it fun to play.  It almost become addicting because you are always so close to passing the next level.  This was fun to do in my down time when I just needed to veg and not think.  I decided that I didn't like this.  I did the right thing by deleting this game 6 weeks or so ago, even though I was getting up there on levels.  I want to limit more screen time.  I don't want screen time to happen over dinner.  I want to fight for my family against their screen time.  I want to change the master code (which my husband knows and uses often) so that we aren't all sucked in for hours.  We could find ways to beautify our home, spend quality time with each other, and do fun things.

What impressions, revelations, or greater understanding did you obtain through the Spirit?
I loved watching the clip from Newsies this week.  It is a movie that brings back fond memories.  I was a beehive and a laurel in our ward was headed off to college. She invited the Young Women to come to her house and help her finish a quilt.  I decided to go.  It was me and 2 laurels that were there this particular night.  They got talking about Newsies.  They decided to go on a whim instead of working on the quilt. I thought for sure that I would get shoved aside so that they could go and watch the movie. Instead they invited me along. I thought that was so nice of them.  Anyways in this movie these boys really have to defend what they believed.  Their efforts even took them away from pay for awhile.  They were young and thought they wouldn't be heard but eventually they are heard.  This reminds me of Horton Hears a Who-"A person is a person no matter how small."  We are a person, no matter who small we may think we are, we can make a difference in the world.  We can make our voice be heard like Little Jo-Jo.  It was Little Jo-Jo that was able to help his community be heard on that little speck of dust with one little YELP!!