Turning toward each other

This was a busy week.  Monday was President's Day, and I didn't spend much time on my school work, since the kids were home.  On Tuesday, I did a little school work in the morning but then had to switch my focus to the Relief Society activity that I kind of got put in charge of at the last minute.  She wanted me to research cool trivia about the new Gilbert Temple.  I decided that maybe I didn't have enough material so I decided to also research the Mesa Temple.  Originally I thought it would be cool to present this trivia in Jeopardy format, but just didn't have the time to worry about that.  I was feverishly working on gathering the information.  I thought that it might be fun to just rally the questions to the different teams since I didn't have time for Jeopardy.  I spent all day trying to find information but then I really didn't know how to organize it.  My amazing husband came home from work and asked how my project was going.  He said, "Why don't you do Jeopardy?"  I told him that I would love to but just didn't have time to organize all the details into that format let alone make the game board.  Well he decided to help me out.  In a matter of minutes he did for me, what I couldn't do for myself.  He was able to finish all the details while I got ready.  I was so grateful for his help.  I couldn't stop thanking him, especially when the activity went so well.  It wouldn't have been as good of an activity without his selfless service.  Even after the activity, I just wanted to hug and kiss him.  I truly felt by that simple act he did for me that my heart had turned to him.  The feeling was probably returned because after the activity, he was willing to sit and talk to me, even though he was already in bed, I got home late, and usually he falls asleep and doesn't contribute to the conversation.

John Gottman says in his Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work book, "Improving your marriage is a kind of journey.  Like all journeys it begins by suspending disbelief, taking one small step, and then seeing where you are taking the next step."  We have to always be evaluating our marriages.  We need to always be working at our marriages.  Mr. Gottman goes on to say, "Remember, working briefly on your marriage every day will do more for your heath and longevity than working at a health club."  He also talks about how important it is to have "Couples Emotional Love Bank." "Partners who characteristically turn toward each other rather than away are putting money in the bank.  They are building up emotional savings that can serve as a cushion when times get rough, when they're faced with a major life stress or conflict."

H. Wallace Goddard offered some good advice in his book called "Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage."  In chapter 3 he talks about the importance of having faith in Jesus Christ, especially in your marriage.  He says, "Satan knows that faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and His redemptiveness are enemies to his cause.  Satan's best hope is to keep us from looking up.  He must keep us fully absorbed with the trivial, fretting over our inconveniences and stewing over our grievances."  He goes on to tell of 2 ladies that came to Brigham Young wanting a divorce.  He told them, "If you could only see your husband as he will be in the glorious resurrection, this very husband you now say you despise, your first impulse would be to kneel and worship him."  I know this is true about my husband.  He has different health issues that can be debilitating and limiting.  I know that when he is in heaven and is relieved of those issues, he is going to be even more amazing.

It is so important in a marriage to be on the same page.  When my husband and I are on the same page, our goals happen.  We work together to accomplish them together.  We've wanted to try and eat better but in the past my husband has just given me the responsibility of figuring out the logistics.  That was too overwhelming and then nothing happened.  But now that he knows how important it is and is trying to help me, it's amazing the change. We've been trying more recipes and cutting out processed food together.  Also the same was true in our scripture study.  I never felt like I really ever had his support as I read to the kids, but just recently he realized that we needed to be doing a better job.  Again it is amazing.  The gospel study in our home has gone up and we are seeing the difference it is making in our kids.

I was able to teach my husband about my studies this week, especially as we did some of the exercises together.

Here is the quote for the week:

"Marriage is God's graduate school for advanced training in Christian behavior."

(Goddard, H. Wallace, Drawing Heaven into your Marriage, chapter 3)